Another bump shot :)

Here I am at 27 weeks, 4 days! I love my little man so much already!!!

Belly shot!

Here is me at 24 weeks, 6 days :)

The latest and greatest

I went to the doctor on Tuesday and everything looks good so far! Dr. Long was trying to get a heartbeat and Mav was being very active and wouldn't stay still for very long! That's my boy...

I go back on January 4th, then I think I start going every 2 weeks! Wow...the time has sure flown by. I cannot believe I am 6 months pregnant. March is so close I can smell it! I did have a scare the other night. I was in a good sleep when I was awakened by a sharp pain in my lower stomach/side/lower back. It was so painful, but only lasted for 2-3 seconds. However, it kept coming back every 30-45 seconds. All I could think was, it is way too early for contractions! It lasted for about an hour and I haven't felt it since. I am thinking it was probably Braxton Hicks, but who knows. Just glad it stopped!

Our house buying experience is moving right along as well. We should **hopefully** close next week! I can't wait to start decorating little man's room. Other than that, nothing has been going on around here!

Oops!

I have totally been a slacker in the blogging area, and I am so sorry!
Maverick is now 14 oz...almost a whole pound! He is moving all the time and I am loving it. I cannot wait to hold my precious baby boy. I am over 1/2 there now!!! That is so hard to believe though. This first 1/2 flew by. It seems like I literally just found out we were going to be parents.

Lots has happened around the Stiles residence since last post. We put in an offer on a house and it was accepted! So we have been singing a million papers, and gathering our life history. We are now just waiting to hear back on when we can start inspections. It's such an exciting time in our lives right now! God is so good and I am seeing more and more every day that His timing is perfect. In the last 6 months, we found out I am pregnant, Brian was blessed with a job, and now we are almost homeowners. Everything we have prayed for and all in the perfect order from God.

We also have a cruise planned for the end of this month! We leave a week from Saturday and couldn't be more ready! It was a huge fiasco at first, but it all worked out. Carnival has a dumb rule that expectant mothers cannot be more than 24 completed weeks in their pregnancy, the day they get OFF the ship. We would have been getting off the 11th, which was the very day I turned 25 weeks. Carnival would not accept that, so we had to spend more money, move the cruise, get a letter from my dr saying I am fit for travel, and then we were good to go. I was so upset but it all ended up working out and we will be gone for my bday so that's exciting!!! We need this time as we close in on our last days as just Brian and Jamie. Come March, we will be Brian, Jamie, and Maverick! Don't get me wrong, we cannot wait. We just want to cherish this time together because we will never be at this point in our lives again.

Can't wait to meet our sweet Maverick Paul!!!

Scobee...

As I woke up this morning, I was just laying in bed when I felt what I knew was a kick from my little man! So, I waited before saying anything, just to make sure. Sure enough, he gave me another little kick, Scobee style, assuring me it was him. I called Brian over to feel, but of course he stopped and hasn't kicked again since. LOL! I was so happy to finally know for sure it was my baby moving around! Such a precious miracle :)

We have also decided on a name for our sweet baby boy! Maverick Paul Stiles. Funny story behind this choice. I was at my parents' house one day, with my sister Mandi and her family. My brother in-law, Rick, said we should name him MaveRICK, from Top Gun. I laughed and quickly said, no! Later that night, I was laughing about it and telling Brian what Rick mentioned. Brian immediately looked at me with big brown eyes, and said, "That's it! Maverick Paul!" I was like, are you kidding me?! It was a joke! But he fell in love with the idea. He said it was a "strong manly name, and our kid would be the coolest ever if we gave him that name." I was still against it. It took me a whole week to finally start liking it, then I found out the meaning of Maverick: "Wildly independent; does not conform easily." I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty sweet meaning for a name! From that point on, I fell in love with it. It didn't help that Brian was already referring to him as Maverick, so it just kind of seems like it was already his name. We have gotten a lot of "opinions" about what people think, but he is our son and we are very happy with our name choice for him. :)

My next appointment is on November 12th, only 2 weeks away :)
The morning/afternoon/night/all-the-time sickness is starting to wear off a little, thank God! I still have my days, but I can definitely tell it's getting better. Can't wait to see my little dude again!

Phew!

So update on Thursday's appointment; all went well and my mother in-law really enjoyed hearing our sweet baby boy's heartbeat. She cried tears of joy and it was very sweet. :)

Now on to Saturday. I went to my cousin's football game with Granny and I had some french fries and ketchup. As soon as we left, I had to ask her to pull over because I was going to be sick. Sure enough, it all came back up. It was a bad experience and I didn't think it'd ever end! Fast forward to us getting home. I threw up again, and this time there were little red drops in it. At first I thought it was the ketchup, but as I looked closer, I realized it was blood. Freak out. I yelled for Granny, had her inspect, and we decided that my harsh previous throw up probably irritated my throat, causing the blood. If it happened again, I would call my doctor. Thankfully it did not happen again. Well, at least not that night.

Yesterday, as soon as I got to work, I had to go throw up. Once again, there was blood droplets, this time more. It really worried me, so I called the dr. They said it could be from throwing up so much, but still wanted to see me. I went right in, we heard the heartbeat and he was just fine. :) I was given more meds and told to take them even if I am not feeling sick at the time. The only way for this to heal is if I refrain from throwing up anymore. Awesome. I have thrown up every day for the last 12 weeks LOL God is good though, and I have not thrown up since yesterday's scare. I am hoping these meds get me better and keep baby boy safe.

He is definitely not making me want to give him a future brother or sister, but I am sure his cute little face will make me forget all about what he is putting me through... :)

And the winner is..........

IT'S A SWEET BABY BOY!!! :) I know, you're confused as to how I already know what it is, huh? Well, we scheduled an ultrasound that no one knew about, and surprised the socks off of everyone when we called to tell them about our baby boy!!! It was so much fun and we are SO blessed and happy to know that there is a little boy baking inside my tummy! I have to admit--this whole time I was 95% certain it was a girl. Why? I have absolutely no idea. Just an instinct I had. That was WAY wrong! I hadn't even thought about, what if it's a boy? But as soon as she said, "There's a little boy in there!" my heart just leaped for joy! I thought, me and my boys. I just know it's going to be so much fun and cannot wait to meet our prince charming! Brian was adorable...this whole time he said he did not care either way what we had. As soon as she said it was a boy, his face lit up like the SUN! He is so happy and can't wait to teach our son baseball, football, music, the BEATLES, etc. All the important things in life, of course. ;)

I still get to go to my regular ob for a check up and to hear the heartbeat tomorrow. My mother in-law is coming since Brian will have to work. I am excited and will update tomorrow!

Today!!!

Today is the day! I have to be thankful and give God the glory; He has given me such a peace about this! I am so very excited to have the opportunity to see our sweet little baby today. We are hoping we can find out the sex of the baby, and all of the other stuff is just a plus. Whatever the outcome may be, we are praising God because it will all be a part of His beautiful plan that He has made for our family. It is such a relief to experience this peace and understanding. He is so good to allow us that! I will definitely be updating after my appointment!

Enough is enough!

I know you all are probably tired of hearing me complain. You may even be tempted to think, "Hey lady! Be thankful you are pregnant! This is, afterall, what you asked for!" I know, I know. But this sickness is really starting to get the best of me. I keep telling myself that any day now, I will wake up and feel like a new person and be ready to start enjoying my pregnancy. But, day after day, I find myself perched by the toilet, unwillingly giving up whatever food I was able to eat moments before. Although I would love to feel good again after 9 weeks of this, I am also concerned for the baby. The dr keeps telling me it's okay, it's normal, you will turn the corner soon, etc. But, I am feeling discouraged...I am 15 weeks now and into my 2nd trimester. But, I will not lose hope! I just want my baby to get the nutrients he/she needs, and that cannot happen if I'm throwing up everything I put in my mouth!

Please continue to pray for me as I face each day during this pregnancy, and pray for my sweet baby's health! Thank you in advance. :)

Blessed

We officially have godparents for our sweet precious baby!!! Brian and I had never really talked about who we would want to be in charge of raising our kids should something happen to the both of us. The first time we even mentioned it, we both already had a couple in mind. We decided to say it at the same time, to see if we were thinking about the same couple. We indeed were! What a comfort to know we were on the same page in this area without even having to think about it! Adam and Amy Page are such good friends of ours. Brian and Adam have grown up together, being the best of friends. I met Adam and Amy about 4 years ago, when Brian and I started dating. Amy and I had an instant friendship and I treasure her so much. Adam and Amy got married back in July of this year, and Brian and I were both honored to be in the wedding. We could not think of any better couple to be parents and to love our kids and show them Christ’s love.



Last night after church, we decided to ask them about taking this role in our baby’s life, as well as tell them our news and ask them to pray. When we first asked them, we asked that they take some time and pray about it, as it is a huge responsibility. They agreed and said they would talk and pray and let us know. We then told them our news, and we all just cried and prayed together. We made it clear that our tears were not for sadness, and we did not want them to pray for any changes. They agreed and encouraged us so much. By the end of the conversation, Adam looked at Amy and said, “I think I can speak for both of us when I say that there is no talking needed; we would be honored to be a part of this baby’s life.” We looked at Amy for confirmation and she sweetly nodded and then just started crying again. We hugged for several minutes and she told me how she would always love my baby as her own and how she could not wait to hold him/her and she would always be there for the baby.


Wow…are we blessed or what?! I want to cry just writing this. Adam and Amy are such a huge blessing to us and I am so thankful God brought them into our lives, as well as brought them together in marriage. They are doing such big things to glorify God, and I know He has huge plans for them. It’s comforting to know that our baby (and future babies) will be in wonderful hands should something ever happen to Brian and me.

The most amazing pair of pants...

Yep. I bought them yesterday. I decided it was time to look for at least work pants, since the rubber band trick is not comfortable anymore. I didn't feel like going all the way to Target for a Belly Band, so I settled for Ross. The only pair of dress pants I could find in a maternity size small were a pair of brown ones with a stretchy panel. I tried them on and almost melted. They were heavenly! This little panel thing should be manditory in ALL pants! I was so excited because they were a must-have and the price tag said only $7.99!!! It does NOT get better than that. Well, I decided to look for black pants but I figured I would just find a regular juniors pair in a size larger than I normally wear. Bad idea. I usually wear a 5. So I grabbed a 7. Would not even button. I took a deep breath and told myself that a 9 would be perfect. I walked back into the dressing room, excited to see how they looked on me. Well, about the time I pulled them over my hips, I realized that these suckers were not going to button either! Needlesstosay, I gave up and decided that either a belly band or maternity pants were all I will ever try on again until this baby comes out!

I was able to get a few cute tops for work, so I was pretty happy with that. I will go to Target next weekend and see about the ole Band! It should allow me to wear my normal pants for a while, and you just wear the band over it so no one sees your pants are actually unbuttoned. Pretty nifty idea, if ya ask me ;)

The call...

Today, I received a phone call from Ms. Gaye at North Florida OB/Gyn. She wanted to let me know that the results were in from our first trimester screening. I had all expectations for her to say that everything looked normal and healthy and she would see us back in October. However, the conversation went slightly different. She was very soft and gentle and chose her words very carefully. She let me know that according to the baby’s measurements and the results of my blood test, the chances of the baby having Down’s syndrome were slightly higher than normal. As soon as she said this, my heart stopped. I was immediately hurting for my sweet baby and was letting my mind wander to think worse things that could be wrong and how my baby would hurt. It is absolutely amazing how protective you can be over someone you have never met, felt, or even seen. Well, I guess we have seen the baby and we have seen it moving around and looking like an actual baby and it just makes everything so much more real when you experience that.


So she went on to explain that the chances were still very low, but higher than normal. In a woman over 35, the chance is 1 in 220. For me, it’s 1 in 120. Still less than a percent and we know God is not a God of statistics. Anyhow, Ms. Gaye went on to tell me the next step in this process, and how we needed to schedule an ultrasound for around 16 weeks. At this point in the pregnancy, they should be able to better determine the possibility of this happening. However, if they still cannot confirm, they then suggest amniocentesis. Not sure how many of you know about this, but it increases your chances of miscarriage. I told her absolutely not. We will love this baby no matter what, and I am not putting my baby’s life at risk just to know whether or not he/she will have this genetic difference.


Since that conversation, we have been in prayer and have asked a few close friends for prayer as well. We don’t want prayer for things to change, but rather for us to keep the joy we have and also for nothing more serious to be wrong. I think I can speak for Brian and me both when I say that if God has chosen to bless us with a child with Down’s, then obviously He entrusts us with a huge responsibility and sees us fit to love and care for this child. That being said, we want to rejoice in this! We have not told our families, as we don’t want them worrying. If we do indeed get confirmation, we will share the news at that time. Until then, we will be in constant prayer for our sweet unborn baby and pray that he/she keeps growing and getting strong! We should find out in early November if it is a he or a she, but I am hoping that they can tell us at the 16 week ultrasound! It is scheduled for October 12th, which is so close!!! :)



I will leave you with a passage that we studied Wednesday night...how appropriate and amazing that God would give us this encouragement on the day we found out this news.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

-James 1:2-4

Praising the Lord for the 2nd trimester!!!

We had our 2nd ultrasound last week! Everything looked great and our baby showed off for us again. I just love being able to see what's going on inside of me!!! It's definitely reassuring to see our baby and to see it move all around while we watch. Baby was facing my back, so our pic shows the baby face down. However, you can definitely see a head and profile!!! We also got to see the little hands go up to the face again and again. At one point, the baby even stretched out for us! It was amazing :)

As for the screening, we will get results back in about 6 weeks. Dr. Long said everything looked healthy and the heart rate is about 160 bpm. According to the old wivestale, we may have a girl on our hands. But we will know for sure in about 7-8 weeks (if baby cooperates!!!). We have been throwing around several names but haven't made a final decision. A few girl names we like are Maelynn, Mylee, Karlie and Presley. For boys, we like Carson, Conner, Carter, and Marshall. I think once we know what it is we will have an easier time choosing!

Here is a 12 week belly bump pic...baby is growing!!!

Yesterday marked the first day of my 2nd trimester! I am so thankful that we are out of the critical 1st trimester. The chances for miscarriage now go way down, even though it's always a possibility. I should be able to feel the baby move in about 3 weeks, which I have so been looking forward to! I still sometimes find myself in awe that I am pregnant...it's weird when you cannot feel anything inside of you. The sickness did not leave with the first trimester, unfortunately. I am praying that it will fade in the next few days. I had a really bad day yesterday, when I attempted to go to an FSU game with Brian. I made it almost to the end of the 1st quarter then literally almost passed out. :( Today was a little better, but I still got sick twice. I pray that it passes soon so that I can make sure my baby is getting all the good stuff he/she needs.

My next appointment is in 4 weeks, where we will just do a check up and hear the heart beat again (which sounds like a miracle!!!). Until then, I will leave you all with a picture of Baby Stiles :)

Lately...

It's been 2 weeks since my last post...I have GOT to get better at this! Well, not much has changed with the pregnancy. The nausea is still hanging around, but I have not been actually throwing up as much. Good for the baby, still rough on me. I can deal though. :) I am now 11 weeks, and get to see my baby again on the 16th of this month! That's only one week away!!!

We went to my sister, Mandi's house this past weekend. She gave me all kinds of goodies! We got a glider and matching ottoman, high chair, play mat, and 3 big boxes of maternity clothes. And as if that were not enough, my sister surprised me by giving us a gift card to get our crib and changing table!!!!!!!!!!! I was so relieved, as that was a big purchase that we were going to have to make in a few months. After much hassle with Target and dealing with recalls and sold out items, we finally were able to order the crib today. I cannot wait to get it!!! Brian moved in all the baby stuff to our spare room, which is currently his music room. I think it finally hit him that we are going to have a baby! He had to move a lot of his stuff around and just stood there staring. However, he said our band is about to start forming with it's first member arriving in March ;) He thinks "he" will play the guitar, I say "she" will be a drummer. Haha! Guess we will see who is right in about 9 weeks! It can't come soon enough!

So that's about it right now! My baby bump is starting to bump! I can no longer even think about buttoning most of my work pants, but the rubber band trick is doing it's job for now. ;)

Catching up...

Thursday was a bad day for me. I vomited about 5 times total the whole day, and each time it was just water. Water. No matter what I ate or drank, my body was rejecting water. Well, of course this means dehydration. So you know where I ended up Friday morning. Laying on a table at NF Ob/Gyn as they hooked me up to an IV and pumped some fluids into this dehydrated body! I had lost 4 lbs in 2 days, and the doctor was not happy. Of course, he knew it was out of my control, but also wanted to fix it as soon as possible. We got there around 9 and did not leave until at least 2:30. I am not sure of the exact time, as I was very drugged by the time we left. He put some Phenergen in the IV, which knocks me out almost instantly. I had every intention on going to work after my IV, until he snuck that part in. Brian and I even drove separate, but ended up leaving my car until later that night when he and his step dad came back for it.

Needless to say, I slept the whole day Friday, and most of Saturday. I was starting to feel a little better, then woke with a cold yesterday morning. Does it ever end?! Although I must admit, I would fight a cold every day for the rest of the pregnancy if this nausea would just leave me alone!!! I kept everything down for the most part all weekend, until last night. We went to a friend's house to celebrate his birthday, and his grandpa had made homemade icecream for the special occasion. Yep. Home. Made. Icecream. It was simply amazing and the coldness felt wonderful going down. We left shortly after eating, and as soon as we walked in the house, I had to make a run for the bathroom. There went all my homemade icecream. :(

I am trying to remain positive and know that I will be able to enjoy this soon. I pray that it passes quickly! I am still thinking this baby may be an only child though... ;)

First Appearance!

Well, we finally got to see baby today!!! It was as amazing as I anticipated. Such a true gift from God to see that little heartbeat going to town on the screen!!! Brian and I both shed some tears, and had a special moment as we saw our little jelly bean. The ultrasound tech, Candy, was oh so awesome and sweet. She was talking to our baby, trying to get him/her to move. Sure enough, after staring at it for 20 seconds, we saw a little wiggle! That's when the tears came...to see our baby move was an answer from God that all is well and our baby is alive!!! We go back September 16th for another ultrasound and the genetic screening.

I am happy to say the sickness has been better today. Whether or not this will be the case tomorrow, we will just have to wait and see! I am attaching a pic, but it is kind of blurry bc I had to take it with my phone. Regardless, it is our little sweet baby and I want to introduce you all! :)

I'm also including a belly pic...8 weeks!!!

Making Progress!

I am happy to say that I am feeling good today! I have pretty much been fighting nausea for the past 2 weeks, and it has not been fun. I am so grateful when I think of what the outcome will be, but as Brian was holding back my hair the other day as I unvoluntary gave up my dinner, I let him know that this may be his only child. :) Of course, my decision is a little different today, but only because I am feeling better! I pray that I will continue to feel better so that I can enjoy every second left of my pregnancy.

We go to the dr. on Wednesday and will get to see our little baby for the first time! This is going to be such an emotional moment, and I am tearing up just thinking about it. I can't wait to see the miracle God has blessed us with! I pray that all is healthy and normal, and I ask that you all also pray for us and our baby.

Brian and I also made an important decision last night. At our first appointment, the dr. let us know that there are tests done to detect genetic diseases, and they are now optional. She said, "some people choose not to do the test, because it won't change their decision about the baby either way." Well, of course this automatically made me get defensive and decide that there was nothing that would make me change my mind about having my baby so no, I did not want the tests either. She told me that she wanted to give us until the next visit to decide and bring the paperwork back signed or unsigned. So I told Brian after we left and he immediately thought it was a good idea, that way we could be prepared if something was wrong. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to know if anything was wrong and that was my decision. He asked if we could just pray about it and talk later. So I agreed.

Well, last night, I told him that we would soon have to make our decision. He asked if I had swayed my decision at all and I said not a bit. Well, he then began to express his concern about if something was wrong and the baby may need immediate attention early in the pregnancy, or even right after birth. What if something was wrong and we could help it early on, but didn't because we chose not to find out? This and the fact that he was so sincere about his point, made my heart melt (in a good way). Needless to say, after talking a bit more about it, we decided that we would go through with the tests, just to be cautious. No, nothing will change our decision about welcoming our baby boy or girl in March, but at least we will be able to take precautionaries if needed.

So that's that! I can't wait to update after our Wednesday appointment! :) Thank you in advance for your prayers...

And so it begins!

You would think I would have learned by now. You know how you have those things you brag about that have not happened to you and then all of a sudden you find it happening?? Let me give you an example. About a year ago, I was bragging to myself (yes, I talk to myself as I am driving to work. Not audibly, but in my head, nonetheless :) ) about never being pulled over by a cop before in all my 5 years of driving. Of course, that very afternoon, my foot was a bit heavy on the pedal and all of a sudden I saw those red and blue lights from none other than a state trooper. ::GASP!:: Everyone knows the reputation state troopers have; you are not getting off the hook. Well, God had favor on me and that nice man told me to "get on home and don't you speed now." Bless you, sir.

So the past few days I have been bragging about how I have not been a bit sick in my pregnancy, although everything I read says I should have started a week ago with the nausea. So yesterday I woke up and brushed my teeth as I do every morning. Oh but when I got to the tongue brushing, it was all downhill from there. I do not usually have a bad gag reflex when brushing my teeth but this time, I could barely finish brushing! Ever since then, the nausea has been on and off. I am thankful, because I know it is a good sign! And it will all be worth it in the end. But right now, saltines and sprite are my best friend :)

Square one isn't all that bad...

Brian called Sonshine on Tuesday morning. He could not take the anticipation any longer. He had to know if he was chosen for the job, or if he was back in square one. Well, square one it is. They were leaning towards someone with "more experience." The beginning is a tough spot to be when you haven't had the chance to gain experience. But our God is good and will provide all in His timing, as we already have seen. We know He wouldn't have blessed us with one miracle without thinking about the other. I am so proud of my husband though. When he found out, he didn't get discouraged. He said we have to rejoice and know that we are in God's will. He also shared with me a verse that he came across as he was reading his bible the next morning...

"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 1:6-7

God is good and sometimes, it's okay to be in square one, because that is right where He wants us to be...

It's Official!

We are officially pregnant! Not that the 3 at home tests didn't persuade me, but having the doctor confirm was a huge relief! Both Brian and I were so scared we would get there just to have them look at me like a crazy lady and tell me I was not pregnant at all. But thank God, that is so not what happened! I am 5 weeks, 3 days and am due to have our little miracle on March 26, 2011. I feel so blessed and cannot wait for the road ahead!

We are scheduled to go back in 3 weeks (August 18th) for our first ultrasound. We should be able to see the little heartbeat by then and hopefully see the baby if it's big enough :) This new journey is so exciting for both of us and we are absolutely thrilled that God has given us this amazing opportunity!!!

I am feeling a little queasy this morning, but other than that all is well! We should hopefully hear back from Sonshine today, which is where Brian had his 2nd interview last week. We just want him to be in God's will...

Stay tuned for more updates!

Seriously?!

Let's go back to Wednesday for a second...I woke up and still had no signs of my monthly friend coming. I was 6 days late, but still in denial and expected it to come at any time. My original plan was to take a test on Friday morning, but I was getting restless and anxious! So I decided to go buy the tests on my lunch break Wednesday, and would wait until Thursday morning to take one. Well, about 2:30 on Wednesday, I couldn't take it anymore. I went into the bathroom at work, stick in my purse, and did my thang! I placed it on the counter and just began to pray. I just asked God for peace in the event that it was negative, and that I just truly wanted His will and not mine. I waited for what felt like 30 minutes, then decided to slowly glance at the result window of my pregnancy test. To my complete and total shock, one word was on the screen: PREGNANT!!! I think it even had the exclamation marks on it :) I just covered my face, sat on the bathroom floor, and cried happy tears of joy to God for this miracle. I always wondered what my reaction would be when I finally saw that word. Words cannot describe what I felt, and am still feeling. It feels like I am pretending. I think it will all be more real on Monday, at my first doctor's appointment. I just want to hear them say, "You really are pregnant!!!" I thank God every few minutes for this beautiful, sweet, precious miracle that He has blessed Brian and I with.

Wednesday evening we made our rounds to share our good news with family and friends. I must say, we have a GREAT support team and this baby will be loved to the max!

So far, the only signs I am experiencing is frequent bathroom trips and FOOD!!! I have found in the last week or so that it seems like an hour after I eat a full meal, I feel like I haven't eaten in DAYS! That was kind of a small sign to me, but of course I let it slide. Right now, my baby is only about 1 mm big, the size of an orange seed!!! I downloaded an app on my iPhone from the What to Expect books. It provides you with weekly updates and this is what it said for Week 5 (which is about how far I think I am)..."Your baby's heart is made up of 2 tiny channels called heart tubes--and they're already hard at work, beating to their own drummer. When those tubes fuse together, your baby will have a fully functioning heart (though it almost certainly already has its grip on yours)." I definitely started crying as I read that! And yes, our baby already has a grip on both of our hearts and we cannot wait to experience God's blessing and miracle of parenthood...

Another curveball...

Brian graduated from UNF in December of 2009. We were told that his student loan would need to be paid monthly, starting 6 months from graduation. No biggie back then because we had 6 whole months to not pay, so why worry about it back then? Well this month is the 6th month and we still had not heard anything. I asked his mom to call the company yesterday, because we could not get logged into the account that she set up years back. All she could reach was a recording, which told her a payment was due immediately, for...$315.41!!! I literally almost choked when I read the text she sent me with that info. I took a deep breath and knew that God would handle it. So I called the recording and paid the payment from our house savings. Ouch. But I am definitely thankful we at least had the money to pay for it. I am just really struggling right now with TRUST! I was telling a good friend about the whole situation and she really encouraged me with a verse that I had read and reread a million times...at least. But somehow it brought out a new meaning this time...

Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

It's so awesome that all God wants us to do is make our requests known to Him. He will take it from there! So right here, right now, I am letting go and letting God. He has a plan and this was no curveball for him...

Glad I bought the 2nd box...

For the last week or so I have had a daily ritual that included peeing on a stick...yes, I was taking ovulation tests to make sure that I am ovulating, and to find out when. I first bought a pack of 7, and wasn't going to buy anymore. After 6 days of negatives, I was beyond discouraged. Day 7 arrived, and still nothing. After talking to my sister and a good friend, I decided to buy another box. Maybe I was not "normal" and ovulate late...or early. So today was day 8...and guess what? I got a positive!!! Oh I was so happy I could have cried. I cannot imagine the joy I will have once I finally see a positive on a pregnancy test. This was a huge step for us though. I have been so worried that I may not be ovulating, and that it could be a reason we haven't conceived yet. Thankfully, God chose to hear my prayer and gave me this huge sign that everything is okay, even though He didn't have to. I love it when He does that for His children!

I am not saying that we will get pregnant this month, and that's okay if we don't. God has plans for us that we cannot begin to wrap our minds around, and for that I will forever be grateful. To know that He has spent His time planning our lives...that's an honor. I will gladly live out the life that He has made for me. I am just so grateful that He has given me this peace and assurance that everything will work out in His timing.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans for good and not for evil. To give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

While I'm Waiting...

Last night I realized something. Something big. I have to stop trying to run my own life and I have to start giving everything to God. I so often say that it's in His hands, or that He will handle it. Although there is soooo much truth in that, I have to believe it and not just say it. I also have to learn to prioritize. I want so many things at the same time and I just want to go and make them all happen. I have to learn that God's timing is not my own and I need to chill out and let him paint the picture! So on my way to work I heard a song that I love, and it was a great reminder from God that I need to just wait. Wait. Wait. And then wait. He's got this and doesn't need my help.

"I'm waiting. I'm waiting on you, Lord. And I am hopeful. I'm waiting on you, Lord. Though it it painful, but patiently I will wait. I will move ahead bold and confident. Taking every step in obedience. While I'm waiting, I will worship. While I'm waiting, I will not faint. I'll be running the race, even while I wait." -John Waller-

Here lately...

Yeah, I know...it's been a month since I posted. I am seriously going to start posting weekly...seriously. Anyway, a lot has been going on lately so I will just give you the 411 of our lives right now, short version.

For starters, Brian still has not been hired as a teacher. He has had 3 interviews with different schools, and got his first rejection letter yesterday. We haven't heard anything from the other 2 as of yet. I know in my heart that God will provide for us and will never leave or forsake us, because He told us so in His word. But telling my head that is a totally different story. Or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, I am getting very nervous. We kind of thought he would have a job more quickly, so we are definitely trying not to get discouraged. The good news is he found out Tuesday that he got a summer job as a server at the Plantation. This is so awesome and we are thankful for this opportunity He has given Brian.

Another part of our lives has revolved around something that I have wanted so badly since I was old enough to realize the concept; to be a mommy. We have been praying about God's plan for us in this area, and I have a peace that He will bless us in His timing. I have some medical issues that will only get better once we have a child, so that is why we came off of birth control...almost a year ago. That being said, it worries me that somethink more may be wrong. However, I know that God's timing is everything. And being that B doesn't have a steady job, and we don't have a house yet, I know that His timing is not now. Once again, my head knows. But my heart hurts and longs for a sweet baby of our own. I continue to pray daily for God's peace and strength and patience as we wait this out.

We recently found out that one of our closest mentors is leaving to pursue God's will. Our pastor, friend, mentor, leader, and brother in Christ has been with us for 4 years now and we have really come to love him and his sweet family. He counseled us before marriage, and has been there for our family in huge ways. We will forever be grateful to God for letting us borrow him for this long, and pray that He uses Bro. Mark as he moves on to his next mission. We don't know the road ahead for GGBC, but we do know that God knows, and has the next man of God lined up for our church. I pray that we stick together and support each other and continue to pray for our new pastor, as well as our friend who is leaving.

Our latest concern is a house. Obviously Brian needs a job first, so that is our first prayer. However, our trailer is very very old and starting to really go. Every day something else happens. We will definitely look back at our newlywed time and laugh someday, but not today. :) We have been so blessed to have a place to stay with no rent, and are forever thankful to Granny for that. But, we need a new place now. So, we may rent an apartment for about 6 months (once he has a job) so that we can find a house. Or we may try to fix the trailer and tough it out, just depends on which would cost more.

So that's all the catching up I had to do! I think this is my longest post yet, but don't get used to it. :)

Love is in the air!!!

Love is such a blessing from above! Lately I have been surrounded by love, and love it! My Lord and Savior shows me love each and every day and pours out His grace upon me, even when I mess up so badly. My hubby also loves me unconditionally, and is so very good to me. My friends and family are such examples of love as well. I recently got the opportunity to wish my best friends Justin and Hannah Wofford a Happy 1st Anniversary! A year ago Sunday I had the priviledge to stand with them as they exchanged vows in front of friends, family, and God. They are such a joy to me and I am so happy that God brought them together.

In 18 days, my other best friend Leslie will be united in marriage with her sweetie Brian. I will be standing beside her as she begins this new journey in her life. Leslie, I pray that you and Brian put God first in all things, and the rest will fall into place. I am so happy for you two and wish you many years of love and hapiness. Never go to bed angry and keep your love alive! Also remember that love's not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for...

On July 16th, another sweet couple will be saying "I do." Amy Jo and Adam are such an example of God's perfect timing. They have come through a long journey to get to where they are, and it is so awesome to know that God knew what He was doing the whole time; guiding them and directing them towards each other's hearts. Amy & Adam, I know that God has such big plans for the two of you. Marriage is such a sweet blessing from above, and I know you will enjoy every minute of it...well, maybe not every minute, like when Adam leaves the toilet seat up, or Amy forgets to turn off her straightener and you have to go all the way back home to make sure it doesn't burn the neighborhood down. But you get my point. :)

Love is beautiful and I am so glad to see it all around me. Thank you, God, for showing us Your love, and for commanding us to love in return. I pray that we show love to others the way that You have first loved us...even to those we do not know.

Ahhh, friends...

"Life's truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way." ~Anonymous

I love friends. I love my friends, I love my friends' friends, I love the show Friends, I just love the idea of friends! As life moves along, I find that I am more and more thankful for all of the friendships I have made along the way. I know that I have support in life's trials, and I also have someone to celebrate life's blessings with.

God has blessed me with some pretty amazing people to share my life with. I love the laughter we share, and the tears we cry together. Life would be pretty boring if it were not for friends.

To all of my friends out there, in case I fail to tell you often enough, I love you so much and am so thankful that God has blessed me with such wonderful amazing people to share in life's adventures with :)

Boxes

It's been a while since I posted...I know, I know. I will try to do better, but no guarantees!

Sunday's sermon was just way too good not to post about. It was basically another one of those "slaps in the face that feel good." Bro. Mark preached about boxes. Yes, boxes. Do you ever meet someone and right away decide what you think about them, therefore putting them into a box? Let me provide you with a few examples of the labels these so-called boxes might have: Losers, Obnoxious, Liars, Sinners...just to name a few. We are all guilty, myself included, of judging others. It's just what we do. We form our opinions and like to let everyone else know just how we feel. The Bible says in Luke 6:37, "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven." I am sure most of us, as Christians, have read this verse before and maybe even taken it out of context. However, Sunday I was slapped real good!!! I am so often guilty of judging others without first looking at myself and making sure I am in the right place in my walk, and that I am forming these opinions and concerns out of a loving heart.

I am praying that God will help me let these people out of the boxes I have placed them into. Like Bro. Mark said, most times they will gladly jump out if only we will allow them to...

The Power of the Cross

We had our Easter drama, "The Risen Christ" on Sunday night. Let me tell you...the Holy Spirit was all kinds of present in that place! In fact, He showed up long before we did.

First of all, one of our actors had just gotten in from a mission trip to Mexico, and really had not had but 3 hours to practice his lines. He did phenomenal! No one in that church would have ever known he only learned his lines that day.

Also, when we all got there to practice that day, you could feel God's presence sitting in on us, watching us prepare for the night ahead. If you have ever sang in choir or church, you know that usually you just go with the flow in practice and then when the real thing comes, you really sometimes feel that overwhelming presence of the Lord. Well, at this practice, people were raising their hands in praise to Him, and just singing about His glory. It was quite an amazing feeling to just worship Him with my brothers and sisters in choir.

But little did we know that was only the beginning to an amazing night of God working in the lives of those around us. The play started and the actors began to retell the resurrection story. Once again, we could all feel the Holy Spirit as we did our best to reenact this beautiful event. The beautiful love story that God wrote just for us. As the service was concluding and the invitation was given, one of my very close friends took that long walk down the aisle and gave her life to Christ. Praise the Lord! She too felt the Spirit calling her to let Him into her heart and she finally welcomed Him in.

I went home feeling so overwhelmed at the love of God for us...sending His son to die a horrible, wretched death for us...all so that we can spend eternity in Heaven with Him. I know people ask all the time, "Would you die for anyone?" but I think the harder question is, "Would you lay down the life of your child, your own flesh and blood, for anyone? How about the whole world who, in return, mocks you and spits in your face for this sweet precious sacrifice that you made just for them?" I am not yet a mother, but I cannot even fathom the feeling of giving up my child for anyone or anything.

"This the power of the cross; Christ became sin for us. Took the blame, bore the wrath, we stand forgiven at the cross..."

A work in progress...

I have really come to realize lately that I am a work in progress. I have so many faults and God loves me in spite of those. Time and time again He pours His mercy over me without hesitation. Isn't it comforting to know that He does that for us? I think about my earthly relationships...my husband, mother, father, sisters, friends, etc. There are times that we do things and sometimes hurt one another and do not know how we will be able to forgive and forget. But with God...there is no doubt that He will not receive us back into His arms if only we ask. We hurt Him each and every day, most of the time without even acknowledging it. But when we do, and we ask for His forgiveness, He totally wipes out our sins as if they never even happened. What an example of love...

I often struggle with love. Love for those who I do not know or do not like. But God commands us to "Just as I have loved you, you are to love one another" (John 13:34). Wow...can you imagine if every one of us loved each other as He loves us? We would basically be living in a utopia. The word "love" is mentioned in the Bible somewhere around 442 times...God is love. And he wants us to love too...

I'm gonna end this post with a song I learned as a child, and still often think about...
"He's still workin' on me, to make me what I 'oughta be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be...He's still workin' on me."

Sometimes, a slap in the face feels good...

Yesterday our pastor preached on God's will. He touched on how to actually know you're in His will, and not yours. Ouch. This is a very tough subject for me, because I am human and selfish and want to do things the way I want to do them. Let me also mention that I struggle with patience...

Patient:
Main Entry: 1pa·tient
Pronunciation: \ˈpā-shənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English pacient, from Anglo-French, from Latin patient-, patiens, from present participle of pati to suffer; perhaps akin to Greek pēma suffering
1 : bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint

Calmly and without complaint...In order to be in God's will, patience is a must. So needless to say, I was slapped pretty hard yesterday as I sat and heard God speak through my humble pastor. He also said that in order to determine God's will we must go to our Bibles (we must listen to Him), our knees (we must talk to Him), and our friends/family/pastor/Godly council. It is also very important that we do it in this order. We should never seek Godly council until we have first went to God. Make sense?

Lastly, if after you have done all of these things and still have the desire for your decision, then do it! Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Not he may, or he probably will... It's a definite! All this time I have struggled with how to know if it's God telling me to, or my own selfish desires wanting to. And it's as simple as reading His word and letting Him speak to you, praying to Him, seeking wise council, and just doing it is His name!

I hope that you are as excited as I am about being in God's will...That was one slap that felt refreshing!

Oh the babies!

So yeah, I know it has been a while since I posted. And I also know this is only my 2nd post ever...I will try much harder to be more committed to this thing. But no promises...

I just got a phone call from a great friend letting me know that she and her hubby are expecting their first baby! How exciting?! I also have another very close friend who found out last month that she is expecting her third. Oh, did I mention that I have another close friend who should be delivering her sweet little baby in the next week or so?!

Oh the babies!!! And it only makes me that much more eager to become a Mommy... which will happen soon. Soon enough and in God's perfect timing. His timing is not my own, and I have to daily remind myself.

So to all the close friends who are expecting or are already Mommies...Congratulations on your precious little miracles! I will patiently await God's timing and know that He is faithful & true on His word: Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourselves in the Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart." :)